Miss California can suck it

As comedian Kathy Griffin might say, "Miss California can suck it."

Yes, the absolutely gorgeous and talented Carrie Prejean was first runner-up for the 2009 Miss USA title. Who won? Miss North Carolina Kristen Dalton, who is absolutely gorgeous (The two look strikingly similar -- like twins in fact.) and talented. Miss California has been on the media circuit lately, claiming that an unpopular answer to a controversial question cost her the crown. Prejean claims that she was "persecuted" for espousing her Christian values by saying that she believes that marriage should be between a man and a woman when asked if same-sex marriage should be legal in all states by openly gay blogger Perez Hilton. Prejean says that she stuck to her values and, while she did not give the "politically correct" answer, she gave the "Biblically correct" answer. Uh, huh.

Upon hearing that, I was glad that her Christian values kicked in -- because I was wondering where those values were while she was parading half-naked across a stage in front of the world. I was wondering where they were when she was projecting a hyper-sexualized and fetishized image of women that promotes body image and eating disorders among young girls and violence against women. I was wondering if God really wanted her to be participating in the objectification of women for her personal gain at the expense of the female collective.

Miss California would have you believe that she gave a strong answer, when in fact she did not. She stumbled over herself and eventually got to the point that she believed marriage is between a man and a woman, apologizing to those who did not agree with her position in the process. After stumbling, she ended with "In my country, and in my family, I believe that a marriage should be between a man and a woman." Cool. Although she is clearly a hypocrite because participating in a pageant like Miss USA is contrary to any Christian values that I learned, she eventually got around to an answer in which she believed. Unfortunately for her, it did not answer the question that was asked.

Miss California lost because her answer was busted. She flip-flopped and did not sound as if she meant what she said. Unlike the confident woman who sat on the Today Show explaining how she was being persecuted, she did not sound like she had any conviction. As I tell my students in introductory communications courses, it is not always what you say, but sometimes how you say it. In addition, they learn that they should know their audience.

If an openly gay blogger who supports gay marriage asks you a question in front of a live audience with a large number of gay attendees and most of the people behind the scenes are gay, you might want to think about what you're saying and how you're saying it. You can say what you feel, but know that there may be consequences. For the record, she was cheered and jeered by audience members.

As I tell my students, "Freedom of speech isn't always free," and often comes with major costs. You can say that you're against gay marriage, but don't be surprised when your gay audience votes for another candidate as Miss USA.

Perez Hilton asked: "Vermont recently became the fourth state to legalize same-sex marriage. Do you think every state should follow suit? Why or why not?" She simply could have stated that it should be each state's decision and what is best for its constituents based on their shared culture and values. That is a good answer that is respectful of everyone, does not cause her to compromise her so-called values and actually answers the question.

Miss Prejean, who is allegedly dating Olympic Star Michael Phelps (a weed-smoking Christian), believes that she has been persecuted and continues to say it during her "woe-is-me" tour. Jesus was persecuted. The Jews (and yes, I know Jesus was a Jew) were persecuted. Daniel Pearl was persecuted. Slaves were persecuted (and yes, I know that Jews were slaves, too). Roxana Saberi is being persecuted. Miss California ... not so much. Sometimes you can't have everything. Prejean is learning a lesson that many have already learned -- life isn't fair.

Prejean says she wouldn't change a thing. Cool, then watch Miss North Carolina serve out her title as Miss USA from your living room, and spare us the melodrama.

Miss Prejean's sense of entitlement, pun intended, is baffling. You can't have everything, and as a Christian she should know that when you stand on principle, however valid or perverted it may be, sometimes you stand alone. Unlike many, she's beautiful and talented with the world at her feet. Work it out, keep it moving and stop hogging the spotlight from Miss North Carolina (aka Miss USA), who actually gave a great, articulate and confident answer in addition to her stellar performance throughout the pageant.

Someone please tell Miss Prejean that sour grapes are not only unattractive, but also ungodly.

Nsenga K. Burton, Ph.D. is an assistant professor of communications and media studies at Goucher College and editorial director for RushmoreDrive.com.